Chapter Two

WHEN I'M FEELING BLUE!

This would make a great outdoor meditation retreat!

This morning I listened to an amazing women speak about recovering from a  profound loss. (I will save the details for another post.) Although I have not had the same experience that she had, many things struck a chord with me. One in particular was a question that she has been asked over and over... 

"What do you do on the bad days?"

As I have recovered from my shattered life (its been seven years now) I've noticed that although my highs and lows are not so dramatic, there are still times when out of no-where, anger, hurt, self-pity and despair return and I am left both surprised and clueless...

"I thought I was over this!"

I have found three things that help me on "bad days"  They might surprise you, you might even discount them, but for me they work.  Here's my backup plan.

I CLEAN - I know, that sounds strange, but I have learned over the years that if I clean something I miraculously feel better. On one "blue" day I tore the linen closet apart, scrubbed the surfaces, folded all the towels and linens and color co-ordinated them. After the closet began to look like it might be worthy of "pinterest" I added a scented candle and took a deep breath. A real sense of euphoria washed over me.  Why? I finally figured out that when I can't make order out of my emotional life, I make order out of my physical surroundings and it gives me a sense of control. Go figure ... it works for me.

I LEARN SOMETHING - When I am feeling blue I start reading, usually on the internet, searching for something I know nothing about. Its like a little game. The other day I was complaining about the late night music coming from the "dance" at the tennis courts in our city park. Ours is a small town geographically and the boom, boom of the bass went on until midnight.  My son turned to me and said... "Here's a physics lesson mom..."  Then he began to explain to me why I can hear the low sounds but not the high. It has to do with wave lengths, something I've never understood. Usually I just roll my eyes but this time I listened and to my surprise I understood what he was talking about.  Learning something "new" makes me feel YOUNG and always lifts my mood. 

I LISTEN TO TRUE STORIES -  When I listen to other peoples struggles I don't have to think about mine.  I just let myself get lost in the story and my problems seem to dissipate. Almost always I glean little "life lessons" takeaways that I can use on myself.

I bought the audio version of the book UNBROKEN  All 500 pages are recorded on 12 discs, so I have a lot of listening to do. Disc one drew me right in. Louis Zamperini's early childhood mirrored my fathers in so many ways. His struggles captivated me and I rode the wave as he went from an "untamed" beginning to a life with real focus. He had hope and that reminded me that there is hope for everyone... even me.

Am I crazy? Probably! But that's not the point. We all have struggles and we all have bad days.  The trick is to get ourselves up and over. Ask yourself the question... "What do you do when you are having a really bad day?"  Your answers might surprise you!

I was listening to Talk Radio the other day and someone asked... "Do you see the glass half empty or half full?"  The guest answered... "What does it matter? I have a pitcher full of water right here."