Chapter Two

EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX... 

you can find out in the pumpkin patch!

I discovered gardening years ago, its satisfying and in many ways therapeutic and if you ever need a little solitude all you have to do is announce you're going out to weed the garden ... no one bothers you.

I planted tomatoes, broccoli, carrots, even corn but as much as I love all things fall, I had never grown pumpkins until about 20 years ago. You have to have the seeds in the ground by the first of June but I one-upped mother nature by planting a "seedling" 

Every morning I headed to the pumpkin patch having no idea what to expect. What I got was a lot of beautiful green leaves... but where were the pumpkins?  Then there was the most beautiful blossom, the color was intoxicating... but where were the pumpkins?

As time passed more blossoms on long slender stems appeared. What I didn't realize at first was that all of these flowers were male. Then one day a single female flower bloomed and gave birth to a tiny pumpkin. I was ecstatic.




I was seeing a little "birds and bees" lesson in all of this and I begged my four teenagers to join me in the pumpkin patch. They just rolled their eyes.

Things got more interesting when two conjoined pumpkins arrived. What a fun jack-o-lantern that was going to make. But to my great disappointment the little "twins" shriveled and alas it was aborted.  

As fall approached the pumpkins, now huge, began to ripen. I noticed at this point that the once large and beautiful foliage was spent and haggard. It had given its all to produce the fruit. I winced as I recognized that, even at 45, I was heading in that direction.

I was seeing the "great cycle of life"  sex, birth, death, miscarriage, disappointments and old age, it was nature in its purest form. I was mesmerized by the entire process. One night at the dinner table I was trying to get those teenagers to come and see and I said... "You know everything you ever wanted to know about sex you can find out in the pumpkin patch" 

That's all it took... the kitchen was cleared as my teenagers went fleeing to their rooms leaving their 6 year old brother the only one willing to participate.  I heard someone mumble on their way up the stairs... "Mom's talking about sex and pumpkins again."  

To this day they tease me about it but to this day I still marvel at the miracle of life... even in the pumpkin patch.